10 March 2010
The word “normal” has been defined as conforming with; conventional; not abnormal; in accordance with social or scientific law; being average.
Normal is a word or label I have long feared. It is more frightening than a deadly tornado in my town or finding a slithery snake in my garden. It conjures up great anxiety for a not-so-normal person like me.
I’ve never wanted to wake up and be like everybody else, to let life just “happen” to me, to be like all the billions of people on this earth that have no passion or who care about little else but themselves. Instead, my daily life has been to assume I’m the Assistant Master of the Universe, to live life with great gusto and passion, attacking it before it attacks me. Every day should be a day of great plans for changing the world. I can’t even count how many times I’ve prayed to God and asked Him if it was possible to give me just a few extra hours, finding it difficult to cram my abnormal life into twenty-four hours.
Do normal people change the world? Usually not.
Normal people care about normal things. They live normal lives and care about normal things – selfish thoughts like: What will I wear today? What will I eat? Where will I go? Who will I see? They worry about small stuff like the mail, life’s errands, and making sure their very normal children have a very normal day.
Being normal has never been my agenda in life: Instead, life has always been much more like a race or a political campaign: What big problems will I tackle today? What giant must I slay? What leader must I influence? How can I change something today that will live on in eternity? What problem must I tackle today – and win? What can my girls see or witness today that will be life changing for them?
I have forever been against low expectations.
When I read one of my favorite passages in the Bible (Jeremiah 29:11), I have always known that God’s plan for me has been gigantic and super colossal, life changing and bigger than a whale – BUT NEVER NORMAL.
Yesterday, on the fourth day following chemotherapy, I woke up feeling pretty normal. And today, again, I have woken up feeling pretty normal. Maybe more inclined at the end of the day to be a bit tired. But overall, I feel rather normal. And it feels good.
If normalcy is what is common, then today I plan to be a commoner, take on a very normal agenda. Today I will relish in being average and worrying about the normal things in life.
I’m going to spend 10, maybe 15 minutes on my hair, unlike the normal five (especially since I don’t have many days left to fuss over my beautiful hair that I’ve forever complained about). And then I’ll dress myself in that adorable WRAPS jacket I bought at Dawn’s store last fall and my Coach pumps that I save for only special occasions. I’m going to drop Abbey off at the puppy daycare and I’ll also order her a very normal dog bath. Then I’ll have a normal lunch with some not-so-normal clients (I can't control that one). And then I’ll attend two normal meetings this afternoon – and maybe we won’t talk about cancer or chemo or other health challenges. Then I’m going to have a normal night with my not-so-normal daughter (again, out of my control). And hopefully tonight I’ll be blessed with the stamina to say up past 8 pm.
Considering the fact that I’ve never wanted to be normal, this entire “normalcy” sounds very good for me today. Wish me luck on having a completely average and normal day. I’m looking forward to it.
Posted by Stacy Sells at 6:24 AM