21 July 2010
On Monday I lost both of my breasts. They’re gone, along with a few lymph nodes too. In addition to losing my breasts, I’ve also lost the ability to wear several types of clothing items that used to fill my wardrobe. I’ve also lost the freedom to move my arms, especially my right arm. And some who have experienced this same disease and surgery talk freely about losing their sense of sexuality, restful sleep, and physical comfort.
I came home today from the hospital, around 10:30 this morning. Later this afternoon was the first time I took a look at the procedure. I’ve been afraid, somewhat tentative about seeing the final outcome. But when I did, I smiled. Why? Because on Monday I also lost some very bad breast tissue that cancer had invaded, a cancer that was wreaking havoc on my body. This cancer forced me to succumb to four months of chemotherapy – the elixir for a cure but that feels akin to a napalm bomb exploding inside.
On Monday I lost a part of my body, but I also lost some of my fear of recurrence. This loss has been more than worth it, and tonight I am content and feeling hopeful for a longer life.
Posted by Stacy Sells at 9:24 PM